I admit I had some reservations,
About meeting a man on the “net”,
It´s like rooting around in a lucky dip,
Where you don’t have a clue what you’ll get.
For bald – read “ruggedly handsome”,
For a wimp – an “impressive physique”,
And avoiding a macho Adonis,
Means you´ll probably end up with a geek.
I don’t get the whole “widget” language,
Thought a “gig” was a concert at night,
A “cursor” was someone who swore a lot,
And teeth were intended to “byte”.
“Log on” – putting wood on the fire,
“Hard drive” – a long trip round about,
And if you had a three inch floppy,
You´d make sure no one would find out.
“Memory”- gets worse after forty,
I’d manicure my nails with a “file”,
And if you “unzipped tools” in public,
You´d get put in jail for a while.
So along comes “Connecting Singles”,
Oh boy, was I in for a surprise,
By just sending a few virtual flowers,
You’d meet modelesque girls and hot guys,
So I logged on with genuine gusto,
And soon even learned how to IM,
And an evening of flexing your fingers,
Seemed preferable to the gym.
Now my dating days are expended,
I’ve taken to Skyping instead,
For I´ve fallen in love, but not with a geek,
But a computer virgin named Fred.
So goodbye to the “champers and roses”,
The hunks and all of the rabble,
Cos I´m trading the virtual “6 pack”,
For a 6 pack of lager and Scrabble!!
About meeting a man on the “net”,
It´s like rooting around in a lucky dip,
Where you don’t have a clue what you’ll get.
For bald – read “ruggedly handsome”,
For a wimp – an “impressive physique”,
And avoiding a macho Adonis,
Means you´ll probably end up with a geek.
I don’t get the whole “widget” language,
Thought a “gig” was a concert at night,
A “cursor” was someone who swore a lot,
And teeth were intended to “byte”.
“Log on” – putting wood on the fire,
“Hard drive” – a long trip round about,
And if you had a three inch floppy,
You´d make sure no one would find out.
“Memory”- gets worse after forty,
I’d manicure my nails with a “file”,
And if you “unzipped tools” in public,
You´d get put in jail for a while.
So along comes “Connecting Singles”,
Oh boy, was I in for a surprise,
By just sending a few virtual flowers,
You’d meet modelesque girls and hot guys,
So I logged on with genuine gusto,
And soon even learned how to IM,
And an evening of flexing your fingers,
Seemed preferable to the gym.
Now my dating days are expended,
I’ve taken to Skyping instead,
For I´ve fallen in love, but not with a geek,
But a computer virgin named Fred.
So goodbye to the “champers and roses”,
The hunks and all of the rabble,
Cos I´m trading the virtual “6 pack”,
For a 6 pack of lager and Scrabble!!
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